By now, you may have heard of Gary Chapman and the 5 Love Languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Love Languages are how you give and receive love and every person has one language they prefer over another. If you know that your partner feels love the most by receiving gifts and you want to make him feel loved with romantic gifts for him, we break down the language for you below:
If your partner’s preferred love language is receiving gifts, that means that they feel loved with a tangible, physical item. A lot of people misconstrue this love language as being greedy or materialistic, but that isn’t the case at all. Whatever that gift is, it says that you were thinking about him when you saw it or you were looking for it for them. That makes him feel loved.
It isn’t about the material object, it’s about the sentiment. Your partner might love the gift and use the gift, but mostly it is a reminder to him that he is loved and thought of by you.
If you’re not sure whether his love language is receiving gifts, pay attention to how he shows his love for you. Often we speak the love language that we want to receive. If your partner, boyfriend, or husband buys you a piece of jewelry you were eyeing or a chocolate bar because they know you had a hard day, chances are that their love language is gift giving. They give you gifts to show you love because that is how they feel love. It is not always the case, but pay attention to his reactions when you get romantic gifts for him. Does his face light up? Does he become more affectionate? Talk about your gesture a lot? Those are good hints that this is the right way to make him feel loved. Of course, the best way to know something is to ask.
Now, it’s possible that you do know that getting romantic gifts for him is exactly what he needs, but you aren’t great at getting gifts! You love him, but gift giving isn’t natural for you. If it’s your partner’s love language, then it’s time to learn this skill. Don’t panic, we’ll help you through this.
It’s about learning to look at things a little differently. It’s about noticing things. It’s about paying attention. It’s going to take practice, but you’ve got this. For one day, try to look through the lens of gift giving. Maybe you pass the same drugstore every day and this time you stop in for a snack he loves. He mentions an album that’s coming out soon and you pre-order it as a surprise. It doesn’t have to be huge or all the time, it can be a birthday or Valentine's gifts for him, but things like that can make a world of difference.
This may feel like a daunting or even impossible task if you haven’t historically been the person who thinks of or gets gifts, but just like any muscle in exercise, the more you “train” the stronger the muscles get and the better you get at it. And also like exercise, where the reward is often greater than the moment, it’s a buildup of moments. Little gifts here or there to say “I love you” can be huge for him if that is his love language.
And if you’re still struggling with what to get him, you can sit down together and create a Skipwish gift list!